


Over the hollistic wall

by Lordoflesamis



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: All characters are different OTGW characters slightly changed to fit better, Eventual dirk/todd, Hey look its the AU nobody asked for, M/M, Set sort of just after season one, Todd and Amanda just need to TALK, Todd just needs to work himself out a little, implied dirk/todd, in a kind of alternative reality/dream sequence, your choice really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2018-10-02 08:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lordoflesamis/pseuds/Lordoflesamis
Summary: DGHDA Over the Garden Wall AU- on the way to a halloween party Todd and Amanda find themselves in a strange and mysterious place called the unknown, with a few familiar faces making situations even stranger as they wander through the wood. Idk this started as crack and now i love it. (You don't really need to have seen Over the Garden Wall tbh)





	1. The old grist mill

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Please enjoy, I wrote each chapter while yelling excitedly about it to my poor friend who has read this for me- so my first beta-ed fic!

“Led through the mist  
By the milk-light of moon  
All that is lost is revealed…”

Somewhere, lost in the clouded annals of History lies a place that few have seen. A mysterious place called The Unknown; where long forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood. 

There was a strange feeling in the air, a tension that Todd couldn’t quite describe, which settled heavy in his stomach and swirled in his chest. Just ahead of him Amanda wandered through the trees, her voice high and carefree, seemingly not sharing his feeling. Their shoes crushed dead leaves into the mud and cracked fallen branches as they walked through the trees- how long had they been walking, anyway? Where were they going?

“Hey, Amanda, wait.” He said, his voice breaking the strange calm of the woods. He felt a shiver run up his spine, as if a million eyes turned to watch him in the fog. What were they even doing in the woods? 

“What’s wrong Todd?” Amanda sounded further away from him than she was, so he ran nearer to her, feeling his heart begin to palpitate in his chest. 

“What’re we doing here?” Todd ran his hands through his hair. The world around them was far from the terrain he was used to. Instead of blocks of concrete and glass they were surrounded by tall, winding trees, creating an indescribable dark atmosphere, even though he was vaguely aware of sunlight through the mist which had descended. One of those trees had fallen long before their arrival, and had grown into a kind of bridge across a slow moving and somehow silent stream of dark water. There was a greyness to everything in sight, even his sister, and even when he looked down at himself. This was unlike any woodlands he had seen either. 

“We’re walking home.” Amanda said cheerily, then Todd watched as her face fell, her gaze focusing on the scenery for what was apparently the first time in a while, “Todd. Are we… lost?”

“I’m not sure. If I knew where we’re walking towards maybe-“ Todd began to panic suddenly, glancing around. He was sure he had never been here before, in these woods. He hadn’t left town in years. 

“This is insane.” Amanda said, not sounding as scared as he felt or as she should be. It was then he noticed her outfit. She was wearing a black dress which was long at the back, trailing onto the ground, but cut just above her knees at the front, and a large pointed hat. And she was holding a frog. A frog. 

“What’s with the frog?” he snorted, finding it easy to be an asshole, apparently.

“What’s with your outfit?” she said back, rapid fire.

“What’s with yours?”

They both looked down at themselves, and Todd realised he was dressed stranger than she was. He wore a long coat which was being worn as a cape, and had a large cone on top of his head. He somewhat resembled a garden gnome. It was hard to be concerned by this.

“But seriously when did you get the frog?” he asked again, trying to maintain some normality.

“His name is Cross” she said, holding the frog up to her face, “And he’s adorable.”

“Okay.” Todd said, desperately trying to rationalise the situation, “Okay so we’re going home, I think. Back to mine. Sure. But from where and where are-“

He was interrupted by the harrowing sound of an axe hitting its target, somewhere in the woods. Amanda leant around him to stare into the inky darkness of the woods, where the black was intermittently broken by rays of milk-white light, and where a little while off a small clearing was illuminated by a flickering yellow light. 

“You hear that?”  
“Yeah”

“Do you think it’s some kind of deranged lunatic with an axe waiting out there in the darkness for innocent victims?” no sooner had the words left Todd’s mouth Amanda was off, heading through the trees, “Amanda! Wait!” he began to run after her, as quietly and quickly as he could, “ You’re going to get us into-“ this time he cut himself off, as the axeman’s clearing came into sight. 

The woodsman was a tall, stoic looking man with a solemn expression. His clothes were bizarre; all steampunk and bionic. He was mumbling to himself. Before the two could finish arguing about whether or not asking him for help was a good thing or not, he was gone, plodding into the night.

“I wonder whether we should have asked him for help.” Todd said, earning himself a punch from his sister. 

“Maybe I could help” came a voice, familiar but unidentifiable, causing them to jump and twirl around. To both their surprises, a bird sat on a branch on the tree behind, a serious expression on its tiny face. 

“What the hell is going on?” Todd asked, frustrated. This was, somehow, the weirdest thing that had ever happened to him. Was he on some weird acid trip? 

“Well you’re slapping yourself and this bird is offering to help us and I’m answering your question” said Amanda, unhelpful as always when she was in a good mood. 

“Amanda that’s not possible!” as the two siblings argued, they didn’t notice the approach of the woodsman, who shone his lantern over them with a shout of “What are you doing here?”

Now that he was close, Todd could see he wasn’t as old as it had once appeared, but his handsome face was deep-set with wrinkles and the frown which seemed to be a permanent resident on his features. The bird took flight, leaving Todd cowering against the tree, Amanda standing frozen in shock close by. 

“Calm down Sir, your-your business is your business, we- we just wanna get home with both our arms and legs attached!” Todd blathered, grabbing Amanda’s arm and trying to run. The woodsman grabbed his neck with one metal-covered hand and pinned him to the tree. 

“These woods are no place for you now! Don’t you know they’re here?”

“They? We don’t know anything about that we’re just trying to- uh” Todd struggled to find the words, gasping for breath and beginning to hyperventilate. Amanda grabbed at the man’s arm:

“Let him go you lunatic!”

The man barely reacted, his face returning to its stoic default, “Well, welcome to the unknown. You’re more lost than you realise.” He turned to each of the siblings for a stare in turn, before releasing Todd and beginning to disappear into the gloom, beckoning for them to follow. 

When she had caught her breath back, Amanda ducked beside her brother, who had fallen against the foot of the tree and was staring at the place where the man/robot/thing had stood just moments before, a mix of anger and confusion and hopelessness on his face. 

“Come on,” she said, extending a hand, “Maybe he can help us.” 

He took it, “Or kill us.” 

They followed the man through the woods, while he told them that his name wasn’t important, and that if they wanted to be safe they could stay in a homestead he had created- Todd noted the unusual term for someone who looked as if they’d walked out of a sci-fi TV show- in an old grist mill that suddenly emerged, along with a clearing and another bend of the strangely grey stream. The mill was dark inside, save for a fire onto which the man put wood different to that which he had collected, and made of traditional wood and brick. A small futon was near the fire, as old and as worn as the wallpaper. A two-chaired table sat against the stairs- up which Todd nor Amanda dreamed of going- and a small wardrobe were the only other pieces of furniture in the room. Each item had a sense of abandonment to them, and the room was gloomy and made Todd uneasy.

But it still felt a little better to be inside rather than out there, in this Unknown or whatever the man had called it. Todd didn’t remember much about the world, but he knew he wasn’t there. Or at least, not the same time as he had been, or perhaps not the same universe- maybe running parallel. He felt as if he was missing something, which was perhaps the most unsettling and persistent problem since arriving in The Unknown- as if there should be someone else here with him, a constant in the strangeness. 

“You should be safe here while I do my work.” The man, who had refused to identify himself, said as he straightened up from tending to the fire. His voice was soft, yet deadly and commanding. It made the hairs on the back of Todd’s neck stand up. 

“What exactly is your work?” He asked, hoping the man didn’t conceive it as rude and throttle him. 

To his surprise, the answer was even softer than the man’s previous comment, “Everyone has their burden to bear. And this,” he tapped the lantern which swung at his side with a look that was both fond and despairing, “Is mine. I must burn the wood from the trees to keep the oil flowing, keep this lantern lit.”

Todd was beginning to question their host’s sanity. He didn’t see the girl in the flames, crying for the help of her father. “Maybe we should escape. He’ll know the woods really well so- so maybe we should knock him out first.”

“Okay,” said Amanda. Her frog held a crow bar, all of a sudden.

Todd reconsidered, “No, no forget it bad idea.” 

The man seemed to have heard them. Shit. “Leave if you must,” he said, approaching in slow, large steps, “But remember that they haunt these woods, in search for lost souls such as yourselves. They and their leader, the Beast of many forms.”

“To- to do what?” Amanda asked, once again braver than her brother who was standing stock-still, mouth open. 

The man’s face became very grim, “Not to help you, young lady.” And with that he was gone, and they were alone. Todd was unsure of what to do, but Amanda walked around the room with a purpose, lifting random objects and tossing them in her hands, in thought. While she did so, Todd talked endlessly, wondering aloud how they had got here, whether or not they could trust the man, who “they” were, who was missing. Was it possible they were looking for this person, not home? Maybe, thought Todd, suddenly overcome with an emotion previously unremembered, that this person was both missing and home. 

Lying back, he felt anxiety flood back through him, and he thought about how he felt like a boat lost at sea, unable to escape the endless dark waves. This feeling seemed far too familiar for his liking, and was not helped by the strange state of being in which they found themselves. His life was drifting far away from what he had wanted it to be- he was not what he wanted to be. He kept too many secrets, too much guilt was on his shoulders, threatening to collapse him. 

“Did you know that if you hit a person in the right place with a coin their brain implodes?” Amanda said, interrupting his train of depression thoughts, “That’s a Stick Fact!” she held up what had once been a drum stick in excitement. It was a gift, from himself when she had first been diagnosed with pararibulitis, and consisted of wool curled around the head of the stick to form short dark hair, sharpie-drawn eyes and a smile. She had recently created a small black t-shirt for the stick, with the words MEXICAN FUNERAL tippexed on its front. It was her makeshift brother for when he wasn’t there, and for an annoyance tool when he was. 

“You’re not helping.” He said, sitting up, “Why don’t you go play with your frog or- where is your frog?”

“Shit,” said Amanda, “where is that frog o’ mine? Hold on brother o’ mine I’ll be back soon for your plan.”

Humming cheerily, Amanda left the house and shut the door. Outside she allowed herself a few minutes of freaking out, then reminded herself sternly that Todd needed her to be brave here, so that he could be calm if and when she had an attack. 

She felt compelled to find the frog, as well, despite having no recollection of its existence in her life prior to The Unknown. “Shark? Shark? Where did that frog named Shark go?” She wondered, before stumbling over an unseen hole in the ground. There it was again, the darkness. The ever-following darkness of these woods. A croak from the recently named shark made her climb on top of a barrel propped against the mill part of the building, where she had full view of the woodsman. Inside the mill he was processing the wood, which created a thick black substance which lit the candle. “What the fuck is going on?” She mused aloud, then gasped when she heard another croak, slipping into the barrel with a shriek. 

Above her was a darkness unlike she had ever seen. The sky, now barren of trees, had no stars. Then a terrible feeling began to seep through her, and she wasn’t sure if this was a hallucination or not but there was breathing, heavy, thick, growling breathing that couldn’t possibly belong to a human. She gripped at Shark, closing her eyes tight and begging the hallucination- or creature- to go away. When she opened them, she came face to face with the gaping jaws of a giant wolf-like monster, its eyes huge and bulbous, and luminescent. “Oh god,” she said repeatedly, then finally found it in her to scream. 

“What’s happening? Where’s your sister?” the man yelled, slamming open the door. 

Todd, who had been sitting staring at his phone, which he couldn’t unlock, looked up. The lockscreen, which was a selfie of himself and two people whom he recognised but could not place had fascinated him. Despite their lack of tangible identities he felt a strange longing in his chest, for the roll of the woman’s eyes, for the smile and the laughter of the man in the yellow jacket and his band’s shirt. 

“Holy shit!” Amanda cried, wrenching open the door and running inside, attempting to shut it before a mighty growl resounded, and The Beast burst through, knocking her to the floor in between the men. 

“Stay back!” the man roared, and began to advance on The Beast, but slipped on the crow bar Cross/Shark had dropped earlier. He hit the wood hard, knocked out cold. “Great!” said Todd, to no-one in particular. The Beast advanced on him, and Amanda grabbed its tail, “No!” 

Its tail swiped her across the stomach, throwing her into Todd and knocking her pills from her bag across the floor. They watched in horror as The Beast consumed them like a swarm of locusts. “It was after you all along!” Todd exclaimed, glaring at his sister who glared back in surprise. 

“No time for the blame game, let’s leave while it’s distracted!” Amanda ran up the stairs, Todd on her heels, until they reached the loft ladder. Downstairs they heard The Beast begin to notice their disappearance, a roar rumbling through the floor beneath them. “Onto the roof!” Todd yelped, pushing Amanda up the ladder until they were able to climb outside of the building. They had just enough time to realise there was no wind movement, none at all, before The Beast burst through the planks of wood which made up the roof. 

“A-a-amanda give him the rest of your pills!”

“But Todd!”

Todd looked at his sister then, all manic and fear, and she trusted him, “Fine.” She extended her palm to The Beast, a strange sense of calm empowering her, showing it the pill. Then, with a howl Todd would later recognise, threw it into the stream. 

To their relief, The Beast followed suit. Unlike the pill, however, The Beast did not reach the water but instead fell in between the churning mill. Todd grimaced, waiting for the blood and gore that would surely follow but instead it just spat out a small black turtle, and began to shrink and twist its shape. A dog leapt from the stream, shaking itself off. 

Amanda turned to Todd, an excited smile breaking across her face, “How awesome was that?” 

“Awesome?” squeaked Todd, “That was terrifying.” 

“What in blazes is going on here?” the man was angrier now than ever.

“I know it looks bad, Sir,” Todd babbled, stepping away from the front of the roof, “But but-“

“At least we sorted out your Beast problem,” Amanda said, irritated at the man’s anger, “We solved it.”

The words made Todd flinch, a pull on his heartstrings he couldn’t explain. The thought process was halted, however, when the man began to shout, “That wasn’t The Beast! He lurks in the shadows, a stranger in his own body!”

“You’re always saying the wrong thing,” Todd snapped at his sister.

“Boy,” the man turned around, a calmer, sterner rage ebbing from his very form, “You have it backwards! You are the one with the guilt! You have the responsibility here, in The Unknown.”

“I- I I’m sorry,” Todd stammered, feeling very exposed, “I don’t know what I can do about it but we could try and help you, or at least help you collect wood or-“

“No. You two must go on, look for your home, or a town. Don’t meddle any more. The universe here is different to the universe that protects and involves you, Todd Brotzman. Beware the unknown. There are no constant beings here. Beware the Unknown, fear The Beast and his fellows, and leave these woods, if you can! This is your burden to bear!”

“Right. I, er- got it?” Todd was at loss for words, only knowing that he should listen to this man.

“And you, girl.” The man continued, “Give that frog it’s proper name. You will know when the time comes.”

“Okay.” Amanda said, looking in awe and excited all of a sudden. She always was one for mysteries, and incomprehensible duties. 

“Hey Todd,” she said, as they walked up stream back into the woods, “What does he mean, you’re the one with the guilt?”

“I think you should name the frog something other than Shark.” Todd said, trying to change the subject, “Names seem to hold something deeper here.”

“How about Todd?”

“Won’t that be confusing?”

“No I’ll call you Guilty”

“I’m not telling you, drop it. You wouldn’t understand.”

Amanda frowned, then glanced at the frog, who looked back with an understanding. “Don’t worry, I’ll find your name, if that’s what it takes to free you from whatever this is.” She said, the words nonsensical, yet somehow reassuring, to all three of them.


	2. Hard Times at the Huskin' Bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd and Amanda come across a town called Pottsfield...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments on this! I'm so excited to continue, I love both shows so much. Please let me know your thoughts, good or bad I love reading them!

The sound of a distant train horn awoke Todd from his sleep. Blinking in the newfound light of the woods, he sat up from the foot of the large, reddish tree under which the siblings had found themselves last night. Brushing soil from himself, he stood and closed his eyes, inhaling the morning air deeply. 

It was a much calmer place to be in the morning, it seemed. The trees no longer withheld the sun; its rays flung themselves generously in between their towering branches, casting gently swaying shadows on the soil and fallen leaves. Somewhere above them a flock of birds took flight, and the ever-silent stream which they had been following last night was no longer inky-black but instead a light, pleasant greyish blue. The air was cold, but at least there was some movement, which was less unsettling than it had been last night. And finally, and most importantly, though the grey hue of the woods never fully seemed to leave, there had been a burst of robust and bright colours throughout the world, as if the sunrise had coated everything in its wake.

The animals which inhabited the area seemed to have come alive with the sun. A gang of turkeys pecked their way along a path he could just make out through the trees. Birds chirruped in the branches above, and there was a sub-bass buzz of insect activity in the bushes and the distance. 

Amanda’s outfit seemed less dark and more bizarre in the light. She was dressed like she was going to a Halloween party. Todd frowned as he stretched, wondering if whether or not he was dressed in this way because of a party or if the strange reality they’d found themselves in was to blame. 

He let her sleep for a few moments more while he thought. The frog she had brought with them was hopping about, as if it was as confused as he was. Why couldn’t he remember where they were going to? In fact, he was surprised it was Autumn, last thing he remembered it had been summer time, and he’d just- did Dorian smash up his car yesterday morning? He shook his head, suddenly bombarded with images he didn’t understand, focusing back round to the terrifying man smashing his windshield, screaming about rent. Why didn’t he just give him the rent? Why was this all so hazy?

“Fuck.” Amanda’s voice pulled him from his stupor, “We’re still here.” 

“Yep.” He said, because he was nothing if not helpful. 

“We better get going,” she said, stretching and fidgeting in her dress- it can’t have been comfortable to sleep in all that lace. She stood, and took the frog from the ground, “Todd?”

“Yep,” he said, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say, and began to lead their way down the spiralling, faintly walked path through the woods. 

They hadn’t been walking far when they encountered both the sound of a woman crying out for help and a sign that read POTTSFIELD, 1 MILE. Todd, wary of the woods and possible trickery, told her not to, but Amanda was determined to help whoever was concealed behind the bush. Groaning, Todd followed as slowly as possible, making his sister glare over her shoulder.

“Hello?” she called, standing on tiptoe to look over the thorn bush.

“Hey you!” 

“Who me?” Amanda said, making Todd smile despite himself.

“Yes, you! Down here!”

To their surprise, the voice belonged to none other than the bird whom they had spoken to so briefly the night before, her neck and wings trapped by thorns within the bush. Now they could see her up close, it was perhaps more unsettling to hear her. She was a blue-bird, with bright eyes that shone with intelligence, and somehow found it possible with her avian features to glare at Todd as he stared at her, dumbfounded. 

“Help me out of here, and I owe you a favour.”

“Woah,” said Amanda, eyes lighting up as she looked back at Todd, “We get a wish? Like a genie?”

“No, no, no, not a wish. I’m not magical, I’ll just, you know, owe you one.”

“Can you owe me a wish?” Amanda muttered, releasing the bird anyway, crossing her arms over Vogel (the frog) and stepping away to let it fly. It- she- hovered at eye-level, in thought for a moment before speaking again. 

“You guys are lost, right? How about I bring you to Gordon of the pasture, the good wizard of the woods? He can help you get home.” 

“Huh.” Said Amanda, turning to Todd, “That sounds promising.”

“No, Amanda that doesn’t sound promising. A magical bird leading us to a wizard sounds like the start of a Grimm brother’s story, and I am not gonna be part of that. Let’s go to Pottsfield.”

“All right,” she gave in, “Come on, bluebird. I’ll think of a favour later.”

They didn’t quite hear the disappointment in the bluebird’s groan as they continued on the journey. “So,” said Amanda, after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, “Let’s small talk. I’m Amanda, this is Vogel- what’s your name?”

“I’m Farah,” said the bluebird, clearly disinterested.

“This is my brother, Todd.” 

“Who cares?” 

Todd scowled at her, but refused to start a fight with a magical bluebird. Why did this place have to continue to be strange, couldn’t Pottsfield be a normal town with a train station and a motel?

He’d walked a few paces ahead of the (women?) now. He turned around to see Amanda laugh, “I can’t ditch Todd, he’s my brother.”  
Rolling his eyes to hide his nerves, Todd began to walk, accidentally stepping into a pumpkin that had rolled from one of the fields alongside the path. As he wiped the seeds from his foot he looked up in disgust and caught sight of Pottsfield. It was an old town, 1800s old, but it was a town nevertheless and they probably had a phone he could use. “Civilisation!” he crowed, and Amanda whooped. 

However, as things often were, it wasn’t that simple. As they made their way into the village, it became apparent that something was very, very wrong. There was no sign of inhabitants, nor any sign of struggle- it was just there. Perhaps this was one of those places lost in history, forever trapped to be as it was in whatever year it had been. Todd felt as if those places existed here. 

“Hey, don’t mean to be obnoxious or anything,” Farah, who hadn’t said two words to him since her rescue said, “But an abandoned ghost town doesn’t seem like it’s gonna be that useful to you.”

She had a point, but Todd was stubborn by nature and bitter at his situation, so he chose to ignore it. “There must be someone here. This place is too well maintained.”

“Too well maintained?” Amanda repeated in disbelief, looking around her in mild disdain. Todd began to head towards a nearby house, until she stopped him by grabbing his arm “Do you hear that?”

Todd frowned, then focused. As he listened, the sound of singing began to build, from a nearby barn which stood larger than the rest of the houses and even the crumbling chapel. Its doors were monstrous in size but had been left slightly ajar, and a faint light emerged from between the planks of wood. Gulping, Todd led the way, as the lyrics of the unusual and, frankly, disturbing song materialised in his mind. 

“From fresh removed our chalk foot fall  
Tempers this holy ground”

“Maybe we shouldn’t go in there-“ Amanda said, Farah nodding in agreement. Todd glared, imagining a smug smile on the bird’s face, “Why not? We need help, Amanda.”

“Where timeless spirits meet  
‘Round the heart of Pottsfield town”

The voices which sang these words were unusual, muffled by the door as if they were on an old tape. “Todd,” Amanda said, pleading, “Please stop making decisions like this we don’t need to act from desperation we have other ways!”

Todd didn’t understand why her words stuck in his mind like a neon flashing sign, but he ignored them anyway out of spite. 

“O hie thee forth o’er golden mead  
Yon is the Maypole set”

He pulled open the door, revealing the citizens of Pottsfield, and almost giving himself a heart attack. In the centre stood a tall, shadowy figure with a giant pumpkin for a head. Around this ‘maypole’ several people walked in clumsy movements, their limbs made of straw and their heads concealed by large jack o’lanterns. On one side three of these people- things- whatever- shucked corn into a bucket, some peeled apples, two danced with a black, over-excited cat. On the other side of the barn a lone pumpkin-person sat with a dead-eyed stare, its knife half way through carving another pumpkin mask.

“A ribbon to wind thy soul,  
And to bind love to thy breast”

“Oh, they’re in costumes.” Todd said, more to assure himself of this than the others.

“Are you not finding this creepy?” snapped Farah, settling behind the point of Amanda’s hat. 

“So what they like dressing like pumpkins,” Todd said, sounding unconvinced, “I’ll find someone to give us a ride home. Amanda stay here and watch the bird.”

“Excuse me?” Farah said to his back as he walked away.

“Ignore him, he’s just worried.” Amanda said, sitting down on the floor of the doorway and crossing her legs. Vogel rested against her knee, “He wants me to get home as soon as possible now my pills have run out.”

“Your pills?” Farah asked, only half interested. This whole thing was beginning to look like a waste of time to her. 

“Yeah, I have this thing called- wait, you don’t have to stay now, you can leave.” 

“No- no, I’m bound to help you. It’s the rules.”

“Of the Unknown?”

“Uh- yeah.” Farah said, hoping she didn’t sound too suspicious. If this was necessary to save Lydia, then she would follow through dammit. Even at the cost of these two strangers. 

Meanwhile, Todd was working himself up into a frenzy. First it was the whole atmosphere of the place- like he was in a tomb. Next it was the weirdness of the people. The first pumpkin he’d asked had laughed and told him he was insane for knowing what a car was. Now the girl he was talking to was peering at him curiously, “you don’t seem ready to join us yet.”

“We’re just passing through,” he said, feeling his last nerve begin to shatter.

“Folks don’t just pass through Pottsfield. It’s nice here.”

“I’m just looking to leave here as soon as possible.” He said, quickly realising it was the wrong thing. The pumpkins swivelled around to stare. A string from one of their violins snapped and fell to the ground. 

“They’re not supposed to be here” “Who are they?” and “Leave Pottsfield?” were muttered amongst the crowd.

“Let’s leave immediately,” Farah hissed, flying high above Amanda, but was stopped by a large pumpkin shutting the door.

“Please,” said Todd, backed into a corner, “We’re just trying to find home.” Before the pumpkin people could do whatever it was they were about to, however, there was a chuckle, deep and momentarily relieving, then concerning. 

“Now hold on everybody” the creature drawled, “Let’s not jump to any conclusions.”

“Enoch!” cried a villager, “What shall we do with them?”

“Now let’s see here.” The monstrosity leant forward, close to Todd’s face, its blank eyes and manic grin sending chills down his spine, “How did you end up in this here little town of ours?”

“W-well uh-“ Todd started, desperation and adrenaline coursing through him, “We saw your farms and thought this looks like a normal place with normal, non violent people who might help us, and yeah we can just leave if you, if that helps.”

Amanda, wrapping her arms around his arm, nodded fiercely. Farah ducked behind Amanda’s hat again, trembling as they were. 

“You want to just leave?” it bellowed, “I have to punish you for your transgressions.”

“I told you this place was bad news!” Farah whispered. Todd no longer had it in him to glare. Instead he was staring at Enoch with wide, fearful eyes, and a gaping jaw. 

“I find you guilty of trespassing, destruction of property, disturbing the peace and MURDER.”

“Murder?” Todd squeaked, making Enoch chuckle again.

“Oh no, not murder. But for those other crimes I sentence you to...” and, as if to add emphasis he sung the last words, “A few hours of manual labour.”

“What?” Todd said, not even reacting to the hit from Amanda and shushing from Farah, “That’s it?”

The work was physically hard, but preferable to being killed by pumpkin people. Though they did lurk ominously in the bushes, watching them. However, for the last hour or so it had just been the four of them, Vogel and Farah watching as Todd and Amanda dug deep pits around themselves.

“You know, after this, instead of wandering around aimlessly in the woods you could come with me.” Farah said, skipping and hopping despite the small chain around her foot.

“Or we could- we could stay here.” Said Todd, determined to fix the problem he had put himself and his sister in, “It’s nice a-and Amanda’s Pararibulitis doesn’t seem to be playing up here.”

“Yep, it’s all good.” His sister called merrily from the pit over.

Farah groaned, “Why do they even have you digging these pits anyway? Maybe they’ll bury you out here.”

Todd was about to call her paranoid when Amanda gasped, “Hey Todd look! A skeleton!”

“Oh god.” He said, realising the enormity of the situation they were in. How could he have been so stupid to go to Pottsfield? He’d put everyone in danger, even Amanda. Again. Why was he such a bad brother? “We’re digging our own graves, Amanda get out of there oh god okay I was wrong, Farah, I was wrong! Help us get home- use your little feet to pick the locks!” all the while he was yelling Amanda could hear drumming, military style. It felt like the march of the executioner. She began to panic, struggling to climb out of the hole. Vogel hopped out and repeatedly in front of her, egging her on. 

“Oh now you want my help?” Farah asked, triumphant.

“I don’t want it I-“ Todd whirled around to see the approach of Enoch and the pumpkin people, slow but far too fast for his liking, “Yes yes I want your help! Farah please let Amanda go first I-“

“Your time is up.” Said the pumpkin person with the wrinkliest flesh. They had suddenly descended, Todd could see his life flashing before his eyes. A flash of colour nearer the end, yellows, blues, then the strange greyness of the Unknown. 

“Not yet!” Todd yelled, his mind working over time, “You see we were digging and there- there were rocks! And you don’t want rocks in your pits.”

The pumpkin people looked at one another, “I don’t think we like rocks.”

“Right!” he was practically crying, his heart beating hard against his ribcage, his breath coming up slightly short, “So- so we wanted to get rid of the rocks.”

“Good idea.” One mumbled.

Todd became vaguely aware of the sound of footsteps retreating behind him. He turned to see Amanda, Farah and Vogel sprinting away into the fields, and felt his heart sink. They’d left him there to die. Well, he deserved it. He turned back towards the now bemused villagers, ready for their wrath.

All of a sudden there was a sound he had never heard before. A tapping sort of noise, like wood knocking against itself or- the bones of a reanimated skeleton dancing with delight. Todd had never been more confused, more terrified or more relieved. As he watched, the villagers greeted the skeleton like an old friend, and he donned a pumpkin head and straw clothes. 

The ground beneath him began to shake, and a second skeleton pushed past him. “Edward!” they greeted. “Thanks for digging up the life of the party!”

“They’re all… skeletons.” He said, to himself, “Figures.”

“And you.” Enoch rounded on him, “Sure you want to leave?”

“Yes!”

“Oh well.” Enoch shrugged, “You’ll join us someday. Oh, and Todd Brotzman.”

Todd gaped again- how in the world did this thing know his name? 

“Tell Dirk Gently that he should take better care of his non-constant friends.” And with that Enoch turned his back, delving into the festival. 

“Why are you still here?!” exclaimed Farah, hiding in the corn fields behind him.

“Who’s Dirk Gently?” whispered Amanda, who was crawling on her front in the same field. 

“I don’t know- and you guys left me what was I meant to do?” Todd said, before realising the chain attached to his foot was not attached. “oh. Thanks.”

They made their way down the path Farah instructed them to.

“At least now you don’t owe us that favour.” Todd said, surprised that the bluebird shook her head.

“Nope, you weren’t actually in any real danger. Besides, looks like you could use the help, and I’m going to Gordon anyway.”

“Why’re you going to Gordon?” Amanda asked, seemingly unpeturbed by the events that had just conspired.

“I guess I need to help someone else.” 

“That’s vague.” Todd snapped

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” she retorted, but smiled all the same. It was a strained smile, but it comforted him. Todd smiled back. He felt as if he knew her voice, trusted her voice.


	3. Schooltown Follies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the delayed update, personal problems and that- I'm going to updating at least weekly from now on! I dithered around with the characters to put into these scenarios and finally decided that there's no better fit to a rampaging gorilla than Bart! (If you haven't seen OTGW I cannot explain this any better than i've tried to!)

Again, the rush of a train passing overhead startled Todd from his slumber. This morning the unknown was greyer than before, and shrouded in a mist which gave the impression of a thousand reaching arms instead of tree branches. The curled limbs of the trees weren’t enough to deter them however; today they had somewhere to be. Gordon’s house, specificially. 

As Amanda marched a few feet ahead of her brother, who was still groggy from sleep, and Farah, who seemed to be in a steadily declining mood, she sang a little song to keep her own momentum up. 

“I don’t know who he is or how he is or when what why he is,   
But as for where he is, he is where we will go!

To Gordon! To Gordon! Come on and join in on the explorin’!  
To Gordon! To Gordon! We’re going to find him so he can help us and… stuff”

She frowned, then turned back to her brother, “I’ll have to fix the last part, but you guys get the gist. Now, Farah, you sing the low parts, Todd you go high.”

Todd just rolled his eyes, and continued to walk along with a solemn expression, tired of talking for a while. The last few days had been draining, to say the least- and horrifying and confusing to say the most. He would just like one drama free trip to whoever this Gordon guy was, and then they could be on their way home, or wherever they were going. 

“You know we don’t have to sing, Amanda.” Farah said, “We could just go in silence.”

Amanda frowned, turning round to face them as she walked, “Don’t you two find that singing makes journeys less boring? Todd used to always sing in the car.”

Todd offered her a half smile before turning his attention into the woods. Farah sighed, “Can’t you be more like your brother? Beaten down by life? Too depressed to take control of his own life, just listening to others automatically?”

“Hey!” Todd protested, but Amanda shushed him, so he stopped.

“See,” Farah said, and Todd could almost see a smug expression on the bird’s face, “No direction at all.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good thing,” Amanda said, raising her eyebrows.

“The world is a miserable place, Amanda,” Farah said, closing her eyes, “It’s awful and everyone will take everyone you love away from- where did she go?”

“Wandered off I guess,” Todd muttered, kicking the dirt, lost in thought.

Amanda had been distracted by the distant toll of a bell in another part of the woods. Glancing at Gripps (the frog), she pushed her way past some shrubbery to find an old fashioned schoolhouse, it’s bell ringing the only sound in the quiet.

“And that looks exactly like the start of a horror movie. Nope!” she declared, and made her way around the clearing. 

Just a few minutes after she had left, Todd and Farah arrived at the school grounds. It was a picturesque scene: the stream flowed, if you could use that term for motionless water, just around the building, which was beautifully constructed, and the gap in the trees made the clearing bright, and sunny. “Would Amanda go in here?” Todd wondered aloud as they made their way to the schoolhouse.

“Excuse me,” a man, dressed in Victorian attire and wielding a piece of chalk called to them, “please take your seat with the rest of the class.” 

The doorway had opened up into some sort of small classroom, with four rows of traditional desks and a large blackboard at the front. The young man- or Mr Ken, if the name on the blackboard was his- gave them a look which was mildly concerned, or mildly threatening Todd wasn’t sure. In the seats were, perhaps the most shocking part of the scene; animals, dressed in Victorian human clothes. It was quite bizzare.

“Come on Todd,” Farah said, beginning to fly away.

“Oh, did you say something? I can’t hear you I’m too busy letting others take control of my life.” Todd said, never one to miss an opportunity to be petty, and he took a seat at the back of the class. 

“Really?” Farah exclaimed, perching on the chair behind him, “Your sister could be in danger, Todd.”

“She can handle herself, she’ll be fine.” Todd smiled, “Besides, I have to do what random people tell me to do, it’s how I live my life.” 

Just as they were talking, there was a tap on the window, and Amanda was outside, looking at him with confusion. “This,” she mouthed, gesturing to the school, “Is concerning.” She pointed at him, “Concerning.” Before running off into the woods after Gripps. 

“Bluebirds have a short life.” Farah said, “You are literally killing me every moment I have to spend being weird with you two.” 

“You, I will not stand for this crazy talk in my classroom, I get enough of that with that no-good, gorgeous, insane girl of mine.” 

The room suddenly darkened, and a solemn spotlight was cast on the teacher. Todd had learnt not to question these things by now, and Farah groaned. 

“And now with the FBI on our tails and that wild gorilla around-“ he had walked to the window, now fearful, “She’s not here to save my skin. I just have one thing to say-

“A is for anxiety she gave to me,   
When I couldn’t hide,  
B is for Beloved that I called her,  
Before she left my side.”

“Woah,” Faraha muttered, “That guy’s got some baggage.”

“Hey!” Mr Ken said, recovering quickly, “Get in the dunce box.”

Todd blinked, then smiled at Farah in fake sympathy, “Ah god, gotta do what he says.” He stood and, humming, made his way to the dunce box.

“Let’s see, where were we?” Mr Ken mused, before remembering and continuing his song,

“And C, see what she, that’s D,  
Did it to poor ol ‘me  
How could I be such an Emotional Fool? (F!)

G is for the gentleman I tried to be,  
When we first said Hi  
H! I!  
J is for the joker that is my girl Bart,  
The girl who cannot die,  
That’s D  
And K;  
Well you know it’s just not okay,  
To kidnap then run away,  
Leaving alone without leaving a Letter for me

M is for the misery she left me in,   
Never to return again.  
O what a poor P fool I’ve been  
Queuing in line for her,  
And R, are you the one for me?  
Yes Say you’ll come back to me…  
Why are you tempted to Tease me?”

While Farah tried not to abandon all hope and Todd wondered what possible past this guy and this ‘Bart’ girl could have had, Amanda was outside by the stream, sitting on an arching branch. 

“See the thing is, Gripps, I haven’t had my medication in a couple of days now and I feel fine.” She said, dangling her feet in the water, “I’m beginning to think leaving the Unknown is not the best idea.”

She took a deep breath of the still air, then sighed, “Then again, there’s such a strange feeling in this place. It’s like I’m dreaming, but also a bit like I’m dead.”

She bit her lip, frowning, “I’m not… we’re not dead are we?”

Gripps croaked, then hopped onto her lap in fright as a sudden deafening roar sounded just behind her. She whipped around, to see a giant gorilla standing behind her, its fur soaked in blood.

“Fuck!” she yelled, and jumped into the stream below the branch, just out of its arm’s reach. Just over the sounds of her own shrieking and the gorilla’s heavy movements, she could hear the distant singing from inside the classroom, where Mr Ken was now lying on the desk, staring at the ceiling.

“You, Y not U, have got to Understand,   
The value of a person’s heart, V!  
Why, W not Y, did you think it was fine, to X me from the start?

And Y, yes Y  
Is the question that’s on my mind,  
Why did you leave me right before reaching our Z’enith?”

“Hey asshole,” said Farah, flying to the dunce box in which Todd sat, staring at his phone screen, “This is awful. We should go.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, but I haven’t been order to do that so-“

The rest of Mr Ken’s song was interrupted by the sudden ringing of the school bell, unbeknown to them by the gorilla, who had climbed there after Amanda and Gripps.

“Meal time already?” he blinked, then shrugged, “Well, come along then children.” 

He ushered the animal-children and Todd & Farah into the room beyond the classroom, which consisted of three wooden tables and an old but well tuned piano. After they had been served a plate full of slightly grey mashed potatoes, Mr Ken sat at the piano and began to play repetitive somber notes, face glum and somewhat bored. 

The quiet was broken slightly by Amanda’s hurried entrance into the dining room, where she sat across from Todd with a look of manic excitement on her face, “I was just chased by a gorilla!”

“What the?” Todd responded, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, it knocked itself out falling from the roof!” she grinned, before spooning a large mouthful of potatoes and grimacing, “Kinda bland, these potatoes.”

She looked around the room, which had a kind of warmth to it that usually would have enticed her, but today seemed juxtaposed with Mr Ken’s mood at the piano. The animal children across from her, a pig in Victorian infant’s clothes, a deer in old fashioned underwear and a cat in a rather sweet bonnet and dress, stared at their food in disinterest. “Kinda bland room.” She mused.

Opposite her Todd was stopped from taking a bite of potatoes by Farah who reminded him that Mr Ken hadn’t told him to eat yet, and Amanda rolled her eyes at their pettiness. Gripps spat out a small lump of potato, and hopped off the table. Amanda glanced around the room, looking for something to liven the mood- and spotted a bottle of molasses on the top of the piano. 

“Nice!” she jumped from her seat, “Hey, Ken give us a better beat,” and grabbed the bottle and a small drum from the pile of instruments by the door.  
“Oh okay sure, yeah I can do that.” Ken said, and began to play a more upbeat tune. Amanda beamed, turning back to the animals and Todd, “Okay,

Oh, potatoes and molasses  
If you want some, oh, just ask us  
They're warm and soft like puppies in socks  
Filled with cream and candy rocks”

Todd began to tap along to the beat with his spoon on his glass, having abandoned all hope of eating and enjoying seeing her so happy.

“Oh, potatoes and molasses  
They're so much sweeter than algebra classes  
If your stomach is grumblin' and your mouth starts a-mumblin'  
There is only one thing to keep your brain from crumblin'  
Oh, potatoes and molasses  
If you can't see 'em, put on your glasses  
They're shiny and large like a fisherman's barge  
You know you've eat enough when you start seeing stars  
Oh, potatoes and molasses  
It's the only thing left on your task list  
They're short and stout to make everyone shout  
For, potatoes and molasses  
For, potatoes and-“  
“THAT’S ENOUGH”

Just as she was finishing her song there was another interruption, and an old man came in. He resembled Mr Ken quite strongly, except he wore a pinstripe suit and had a substantial beard, and that he was quite terrifying. Amanda froze, and didn’t protest when he pulled the drum out of her hands, “Ken what have I told you? No silly business! Now send them to bed!”

And with that he was gone. Mr Ken hung his head, then shrugged, “You heard the man, go to bed.”

Todd wondered whether or not he should go, but at Farah’s facial expressions he smiled and got in line to get changed. Amanda, who was tired of sleeping on the floor anyway, and Gripps also got in line, leaving Farah to sit on the table and groan about how much she hated everything.

About half an hour later, Amanda turned to face Todd with a perplexed but determined look on her face, “Hey Todd, where do you think he took those instruments?”

“Huh? Oh I don’t know. Go to sleep.”

“Todd.” She said, then again, when he didn’t respond. Then again but in a higher pitch and slightly louder. Then again but in a very low voice. Then over and over and over again in varying voices until-

“Yes, Amanda what?”

“Let’s go save the day.” His sister grinned, eyes alight with sudden excitement.   
Todd glanced at Farah, who was glaring at him from the bedroom window, “Sure, if you say so.” 

Night in the Unknown was always disconcerting. There was never any wind flow, and the woods were majorly silent. But every now and again there would be a distinct noise close by and scare them half to death. Tonight was no exception. As they made their way from the open window of the school dormitory, Amanda in the lead, Todd glanced nervously around into the trees by either side of the path. The milk-light of the moon could only illuminate so much. Beyond the first few layers or so of trees was nothing but inky blackness as far as the eye could see.

At least it was a clear night with no mist, he mused. They hadn’t been walking long when they heard quiet mumbling, like a human very close by. The hair on the back of his neck immediately stood on end, and he grabbed Amanda’s arm.

“Don’t worry Todd, it’s the schoolmaster.” She assured him, peering over a nearby bush. Beyond it was a small clearing, no bigger than 5 ft in diameter, in which the man who had interrupted her song earlier sat with the confiscated instruments. He seemed to be labelling prices on them, muttering to himself about how much he needed the money.

Todd felt his face heat up, and he thanked the universe it was dark. They took a seat on the other side of the bushes, Amanda gesturing for their silence, until the faint sound of snoring floated in the air around them.

“He’s asleep.” Farah said, and Amanda nodded and stood.

“Great- now let’s go steal his stuff!”

“What?”

“Trust me.”

Todd did. Farah couldn’t care less. So they listened to her.

The morning broke in a sunny haze unlike that they had seen in the Unknown before. The stream glimmered in the yellow light of the sun, the trees dripped with fresh dew, and birdsong could be heard everywhere. 

“Oh my god, this is amazing.” Mr Ken’s reaction was everything they’d wanted. 

Todd and Amanda were central stage, playing gentle, old fashioned songs with several of the animal children. Farah and the others collected donations from the crowd of people who had suddenly appeared in the woods. A banner reading MONEY FOR THE SCHOOL hung low on the tree branches. The schoolmaster went to stand by his son, who grinned, “It’s a benefit concert for the school!” 

After a few moments, Ken’s expression slid into a solemn one, “I really thought she’d be here.” 

Just then there was a mighty roar, and the gorilla emerged from the shadows of the trees.

“Todd, do something!” Amanda yelled, and Todd tried, grabbing the gorilla’s arm and trying to pull it to the ground. He tripped, and the two fell off the stage, causing its- head to fall off?   
“A gorilla suit.” Amanda said, “I’ll be damned.” 

Inside the suit a woman with ragged hair and mud and dirt on her face lay laughing, a strange, over excited sound. It scared Todd slightly, as it did many of the people in attendance, but Ken was unperturbed. 

“Bart!” he exclaimed, running over, “What the hell?”

“You’re not Dirk Gently, are you?” Bart said to Todd as Ken hauled her into standing position.

“Er-no. Who exactly is-“ Todd began to ask, but suddenly stopped, as if remembering something important. He glanced at Amanda as if to say something, but then shrugged and turned back to the (couple?) in front of him. 

“What the hell, Bart?” Ken said, shaking her out of her laughter.

“Relax, I killed a guy in this suit and didn’t have anything else to wear.”

The two embraced, and a mildly disturbed Todd turned to Farah, “Hey, do we have time for one more set?”

“You know what, have your fun.” Farah said, suddenly fond, “And Todd?”

Todd smirked, ready for an apology “Yeah?”

“You need to work on your attacking skills.”

“Oh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! The songs were a hard part of this as I am not musically inclined, but I did try very very hard! Please comment even if its criticism, so long as it's not too mean! Any suggestions for future chapters are incredibly welcome, I feel like the Over the Garden Wall's universe allows for so much interpretation, and I don't want to just put my views into this!


	4. Songs of the dark lantern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long update time! I just got back to uni and things have been mad, but I promise i'll get right on back with this story bc I love writing it so much!
> 
> As the name suggests, this chapter has lots of songs in it, and while lots of the characters dont fit with any Dirk Gently ones (there simply aren't enough) i hope this chapter is enjoyable as part of the story because I think its invaluable to understanding the unknown

The woodsman, when he had awoken from his unconscious state, had had a feeling that it wouldn’t be the last time he saw the siblings. As he continued to gather wood from the trees, whispering comforts to his daughter’s wailing figure in the lantern, he tensed as the familiar sounds of a galloping horse interrupted the relative quiet of the Unknown at night. 

It was raining. It hadn’t rained in a long time, long before Todd and Amanda had arrived in the Unknown. But it was refreshing. Patrick Spring took a deep inhale of the cold, wet air before turning his attention to the sound he had heard. A carriage swerved around the corner, its coachman yelling frantically about The Beast. 

Grimacing, having experienced far too much of The Beast, Spring went to the edge of the trees, where the widest path in the woods opened up towards the Inn. “The Beast is upon me!” shrieked the coachman, and to Spring’s dismay as the carriage thundered along the road, he caught sight of the siblings sitting in the back of the vehicle. Sighing, he began to move.

Todd disliked the rain more than the stillness. They had been in the unknown for almost a week now, and it was beginning to take its toll. As they sat amongst the hay on the back of the lunatic’s cart, Amanda rubbed at her stomach as it rumbled. They hadn’t eaten since the gorilla incident, and Todd hadn’t slept in a few days. The Unknown’s strange atmosphere was beginning to play on his mind, no longer something he could adjust to as he had hoped.

A large swerve caused them to fall off the cart, breaking his thought process. After checking Amanda was okay, he took a moment to take in the surroundings, and felt his heart drop to his stomach. 

The night in the woods behind them was inky black, whatever was beyond the trees was impossible to make out. The rain certainly didn’t help as it thundered onto the ground, creating large puddles in the road on which they now sat, flooding the grass at its sides. To their other side, in a clearing much much bigger than any they had come across in the woods so far stood a large brick-and-timber building partially illuminated by a singular street light. It had a small stable on one side, in which stood a fairly bored looking giraffe, and one window, which caused Todd to flinch when he looked at it. Standing at the window pane, silloutted by the light beyond, was some sort of person, staring at them.

The whole situation screamed danger, but what choice did they have? A crash of lightning made Todd jump, and Farah groan, “Great, more amazing luck- let’s go ask for directions at this creepy tavern.”

“But it’s creepy,” said Todd, “Why don’t you two go ask for directions and I’ll wait out here.”

“Fine,” Amanda said, strolling up the path with the confidence of a horror-movie protagonist, “Stay out here in the woods with The Beast in the darkness.”

“On second thought-“ Todd mumbled, hurrying to follow the women. 

“I hope they have food here,” Amanda said as they neared the tavern. The man had disappeared from the window. Todd tried not to think about it too much. There was a warm, welcoming light through the crack under the large oak door, and a sign which swung in the wind and read D L, with an engraved horse.

“The Dark Lantern tavern,” Amanda said, “Interesting.”

She turned around to Todd expectantly. “What?”

“Open the door then.”

“What? Why me?” 

“Because you’re the guy and my big brother!”

“That’s just sexist”

“Todd!”

“Okay okay fine.” Todd pushed at the door. There was resistance, like a large object was on the other side, “I don’t think they’re open let’s go.” 

“Todd!”

“Alright!” Todd forced the door enough to see the- rather unhappy- face of a large sheep dog, lying against the door. With some coaxing, it rolled away and trotted to the far side of the room, where a fire burned bright and warm. 

In the room beyond were twenty or so people, dressed in old-fashioned clothing and occupying various roles of the traditional tavern scene. At one side of the room was a small wooden stage, on which stood a band of musicians and a man who walked slowly from left to right of the stage, whistling along to the music. It was a lazy, but pleasant rhythm. Todd tried to detect any possible danger here, and, other than the obvious room full of strangers, the inn seemed welcoming enough. All Amanda could focus on was the food; plates and plates high on the other side of the room. 

They slid into the tavern and took a seat at a small table by the window. Farah perched on the edge of the table, glancing around as if she too sensed an underlying threat. Todd took a moment to appreciate the warmth, and the relative comfort of the wooden chair as Amanda plopped her frog down on her stool, “Wait here, I’ll get some food.” 

“At least it has music,” Todd commented to Farah, who nodded in agreement. She was about to say something when the inn-keeper, a rotund, amiable woman, approached, smiling warmly at her guests.

“Well hey there little blue eyes, how’re-“ she paused, suddenly becoming abrasive, “What the hell is that?”

“I’m Farah,” said the bird, before squawking indignantly as the inn-keeper’s broom hit her swiftly from her perch, “What the hell, lady?”

“No birds in my tavern,” she snapped, and for some reason the way she was standing reminded Todd of his mother, not that it particularly mattered, “They’re bad luck.”

“Bluebirds are good luck!” Farah exclaimed, hopping to hide on Todd’s shoulder, only taking flight when he too was whacked by the broom, “You lunatic! Someday you’ll die, and I’ll laugh, I’ll laugh lady!”

“Good luck, bad luck, I don’t need any of it.” She said, “Now shoo!”

Farah groaned, but listened, calling over her shoulder to remind Todd to ask for directions despite his protests. As he righted himself again, ready to ask in a splutter for an explanation, the inn-keeper interrupted, putting her broom down to lean against their table, “Who are you two, bringing bad luck to my inn?”

“I’m Todd,” he said, for having nothing else to say, “And she’s my sister Amanda,” he gestured to the woman in question, who was ordering what looked like far too much alcohol at the bar. 

“No, no,” she fussed, “Who are you?”

“Wh-what do you mean?” Todd asked, blinking rapidly.

She rolled her eyes, and began to point out the over patrons of the inn by their occupation; “There’s the butcher, the baker, midwife, master, apprentice, tailor and I’m the tavern keeper.” 

As she spoke, a man moved silently and swiftly to stand beside her, staring Todd down with a blank expression. Todd swallowed nervously, almost missing the tavern keeper asking him again who he was.

“I’m hungry,” Amanda chimed in, sitting down across from him with plenty food and alcohol for weeks. 

“I don’t really like labels,” Todd said, in lieu of an explanation other than recently unemployed bell-boy, “I’m just, well, myself.”

“Maybe he’s an assistant,” said the master, a statement which made little sense to Todd. 

“No, no I’m just- we’re just lost. I think.” He said, “We actually need di-“

“I’m the highway man.” Came a rough voice from the other end of the room. The man who had been standing beside the tavern keeper was now on stage, the same stare boring into Todd’s uncomfortable expression as before. He looked like an Ed, to Todd.

“Okay, good to know,” Todd said, turning back to the tavern keeper, “We need directions to-“

“I’m the highway man,” the man who looked like an Ed said more firmly, causing the violinist to make an uncomfortably high melody, and the rest of the musicians to play low chords, each adding more and more to the eerie sounds of his voice as he continued.

“I make ends meet,  
Just like any man.  
I work with my hands.” He clenched his fists, and Todd heard the crack of his knuckles from where they sat.

“If you cross my path,” he continued to a crescendo from the band, speaking in a sort of half sing, lurching back and forward in a way which made both Todd and Amanda quite intimidated; “I’ll knock you out,  
Then you’re through,  
Steal your shoes from off your feet,   
The highway man,  
Better make ends meet.” 

As he sung the last line he grimaced and dragged a thick finger across his own neck, demonstrating a threat Todd didn’t want to know how many times he’d followed through with.

“Ugh” he said, then sighed as Amanda pushed a plate of food across the table to him.

“Eat.” She said, “You know, like a normal human.”

“I am normal,” Todd said, but begrudgingly obliged. 

Meanwhile, outside, the unknown had once again become an eerie and sinister place. The rain thundered on the unkempt thatched roof on the stable as Farah made herself a temporary shelter, waiting for Todd and Amanda’s return with directions, or perhaps until the morning when she could fly away and not go through with it. Her heart ached with the decision she had to make, and if she listened carefully she could hear Lydia’s sobs echoing in the night- or maybe it was something else. She settled on the head of the giraffe, where she had a good view of the murky night around them.

The blunt impact of an axe in the distance startled her, but the unnerving thing was the accompanying sing-song of a voice she didn’t recognise, singing an eerie melody about chopping wood for a fire- she wondered who on earth would be out doing such a thing in the rain and dark, and decided that she didn’t want to find out. 

“Go ask that man over there for directions,” Amanda prodded, and reluctantly Todd agreed. He walked to the fireplace, where a man with a thick moustache sat pensively, like a kind soul who had been weathered by the world around them. Todd couldn’t blame him. This place was exhausting, but the tavern was vibrant, an uneasy gem in the hoard. 

“Hello, erm, I was wondering if you could give me- his name is Gordon and I-“

“Oh so it’s a boy you’re after?” the old man said, a wink showing Todd that he had definitely misunderstood where he was coming from. 

“No! I mean yes, but-“

The man laughed then, throwing his arm amicably around Todd’s shoulders, “Well then you’re not the simple-minded assistant we all took ya for!”

“Everyone thinks im-“

“You’re the love interest!” He declared, and Todd felt his face heat. 

“Well if you really want it to work,” the man said, letting go of Todd and walking towards the stage, where the musicians once again struck up a melody, though this one was light and enjoyable, not eerie and uncomfortable.

Before Todd could stop him, the man had begun to sing, the rest of the patrons dancing to the beat while they sat.

“Write a loving letter boy  
Which curls which way it can,  
Calligraphers are just the thing to help you win your man,”

Amanda snorted from where she sat, wondering suddenly if Todd would ever settle with someone. He had been openly bisexual, at least to her, for years, but his girlfriends and boyfriends and partners had never stayed long. She couldn’t understand why they’d not want to be with her brother- he was great. Something nagged at the back of her mind, but she ignored it; the unknown was too unforgiving a place to dislike your allies, and the thought was too distant to focus on. 

“Then you'll need to dress up smart  
The tailor's here by chance  
He'll stitch your trousers, hole your belt in fine couture of France  
Your shoes, my goodness, how they're worn, but you're too young to know  
That nothing courts a person's scorn more than scuffs on the toe  
The cobbler can attend to that  
Meanwhile, you must have cake  
The baker and patissier need work for goodness sake  
Hi dee diddly um de dum de day  
What a merry time we'll have upon your wedding day  
Hi dee diddly um de dum de day  
There's work for all when little boys get married”

Todd was currently being hugged from both sides by the baker and the patissier, who seemed very fond of him. Amanda was about to go intervene when she saw his eyes widen in apparent realisation, and a blush form on his cheeks. “Huh,” she said to the frog, “I wonder what he remembered.”

Memories worked a little like dreams in the unknown. You’d have none, or so you thought, then a flash would come back to you and you’d remember a random snippet from the world outside. Amanda had had them about the littlest things- like stubbing her toe in the morning- to bigger things, like having an attack in a supermarket and being saved by four unruly men. She wondered what information Todd had just processed as the old man- who seemed like a Riggins, for some reason- continued to sing.

“That pointy cone upon your head, you can't be wearing that  
The milliner will fix you up  
With a proper high silk hat.  
The boy, of course, he'll need a suit  
On that we must agree.  
The seamstress, my young lover,  
Oh how grateful she will be!”

Todd glanced at her, something unreadable in his face, mouthing “help”, making her laugh. He returned a smile, before he was grabbed by Riggins and some of the other patrons, to be lifted in the air and thrown repeatedly.

Amanda was pulled from her laughter- and wishing her phone would work enough to film- by Farah’s harsh whisper, “Hey, Amanda. How’s the directions going?”

“Erm, pretty good.” Amanda said, then gestured to the scene in front with a grin.

“The rings, by gum, did I forget?  
Well that's my favorite part.  
The vows, the whole romantic mess,  
Now that's a jeweler's art!  
And so you see our handiwork   
Is yours if you're inclined,  
But our livelihood's at stake,  
So don't you go and change your mind!  
Hi dee diddly um de dum de day!  
What a merry time we'll have upon your wedding day  
Hi dee diddly um de dum de day!  
There's work for all when little boys get married!”

“For god’s sake,” Farah said, taking flight, swerving the giraffe’s neck as it lent down to eat some hay on top of a ladder for it, “I’ll bet that woodsman knows the way.” 

Amanda waved her off from the window, wincing as rain hit her now dry face. She turned back to the tavern, squinting slightly at the difference between the light and the dark, where Todd had now been thrown onto stage amongst cries of “Sing love interest, sing! Sing love interest, sing!”

“Ohhh kay,” Todd started, “My  
Name is Todd and she’s Amanda,   
We’re brother and sister and   
We’re not from around here so  
Someone please give me   
Directions so we can be on our  
Way?”

He had never really been much of an improvised lyricist. Amanda hid a grin as he tried miserably to direct the musicians, who played woodwind instruments a little inconsistently throughout the ordeal.

“This aint no love song,” the butcher said,

“It’s a metaphor,” whimpered the tailor

“Keep it together,” the tavern keeper chided.  
“He’s not a love interest he’s a protagonist!” the butcher declared, standing and knocking his table over. Todd jumped as the large man approached and lifted him into the air on his shoulder. 

“A man on a life-changing journey!”

“Chooser of his own destiny!”

“The hero of his own story!”

“A main character,” Todd said, liking the name a little more than the others, though it still didn’t suit him much. 

Amanda rolled her eyes, “He’s just gonna get cocky if they keep stroking his ego.” The frog croaked in agreement while it painted her nails neon green. 

Happy with their new assessment, the patrons of the tavern surrounded her brother, asking for details to their adventures.

“Todd once got attacked by a gorilla!” Amanda yelled, receiving an “oooh” from the patrons.

“And a uh- electric rhino,” Todd said, receiving a “wow!” from the crowd. 

“A what?” Amanda asked the frog, who was now eating chips off her plate.

“Tell us more!” someone cried, and suddenly Amanda was lifted by the master, who thoroughly creeped her out.

“We met this helpful woodsman who told us the direction to go to not run into the beast,” Todd said, making the patrons gasp and drop him.

“You guys have heard of the beast?” he asked, looking up at the tavern keeper.

“We all know the beast, protagonist.” She said gravely, beginning to sing to a chorus of woeful sounds.

“He lurks out there in the unknown  
Seeking those who’re far from home,  
Hoping never to let you return,”

Amanda came and knelt with Todd, hand on his arm.

“Ooo-oh better beware,  
Ooo-oh the beast is out there!  
Ooo-oh better be wise   
And don’t believe his lies.” She warned, approaching Todd and Amanda, who gaped up at her in a mix of awe and fright. 

“For once your will begins to spoil,”  
She knelt close to Todd and whispered,

“He’ll turn you to a tree of oil,”  
She plucked a hair off his head, making him gasp,

“And use you in his lantern for to burn,”  
Her voice was deadly, warning, as she burnt his hair over a nearby candle. 

“Wait lantern?” Amanda interrupted, “the woodsman is the guy with the weird lantern, not the beast!”

“Protagonist, he who carries the dark lantern must be the beast,” the tavern keeper said, as if she was explaining that the sky was blue. 

“The woodsman’s a good guy,” Todd said, standing and helping Amanda to her feet, “He told us where to go to avoid the beast and-“

“And now you’re more lost than ever, huh?” she said, slightly gloating, slightly sad. 

“Yeah- uh about that?” Amanda said, “We need help. We need to find Gordon of the pasture, he can help us get out of the woods.”

“You don’t need directions, protagonists,” said the apprentice, “Follow your heart’s compass.”

“Uh no I think we need directions,” Todd said, glancing at Amanda who looked as confused as he felt. 

Before the patrons could reply there was a sudden shriek from outside, 

“Farah!” Amanda said, grabbing his arm. 

“Go save your friend and get yourselves home!” the tavern keeper encouraged to the cheers of her patrons.

“Uh… okay.” Todd said, running to the door, Amanda close at his heels. He ran into the rain, his feet squelching in the mud, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” 

“The giraffe,” Amanda said, running after him with the frog. Todd climbed the gate, kicking it open, and onto the giraffe’s back, scooping Amanda up as they careered towards the woods, snatching a lantern off a nearby post like an action hero. 

“Farah!” he called into the inky blackness as they galloped through the trees, rearing as they approached the thicker parts of the forest, the agonised faces of the eidelwood trees looming at them in the lantern’s light. 

“Halt!” a familiar voice called, and Todd felt his stomach turn. The woodsman stood in front of Farah, who lay unconscious at the foot of a tree.

“Kick his ass, Todd.” Amanda encouraged, shaking her brother’s shoulders. 

“You were the beast all along,” Todd said, then blew out his candle. The giraffe reared again as a chill wind blew in, and Amanda grabbed Beatrice off the floor. Todd tackled Spring to the ground, his mind going a mile a minute. 

The woodsman cursed and pushed him against the base of the tree, “the beast is upon you boy.”

Todd strained, struggling, until he was able to kick the strange lantern out of the woodsman’s hands. It fell, smashed and caught fire instantly, setting the tree they were under ablaze. Todd scrambled to his feet and took off after Amanda and the giraffe, only glancing back once to see if the woodsman had escaped the flames. 

Amanda had managed to mount the giraffe, and she reached out to him and helped him aboard as Farah woke up. 

“Farah,” she said, relieved, “You’re alright!”

“Yeah I saw a shadow and flew into the stupid tree.” Came the reply, and Todd winced when he thought about the violence they’d just committed. 

“All that matters is we’re okay.” Todd said, and Farah groaned.

“So you didn’t get directions?” 

“We don’t need them,” Amanda said, “Fred knows the way.”

“Fred?”

“Nice to meet you,” said the giraffe, making Todd and Amanda jump,

“You can talk?” she snapped, thinking back to her monologuing outside the tavern.

“You bet giraffe I can.” 

///

The rain had put out the fire. Spring saved what wood he could out of the ashes, but it was minimal. An uneasy wind alerted him to the presence behind him, but he didn’t bother turning around. 

In the shadows stood a figure, with long arching and twisted antlers, like the branches of a tree, coming from its head. “It seems you’re running out of oil and time, Patrick Spring.” It said in its deep voice, and Spring shuddered. The beast. 

“Why don’t you let me take Lydia for a while?” tendrils reached towards the lantern, two round eyes glinting with excitement.

“Begone, beast.” He snapped, “I’ve fought you before and I’ll fight you again.” 

“No need for that,” the beast said, “But be careful. Run out of oil, and your daughter’s light will be gone forever. Now, which direction did Todd Brotzman go?”

“You leave him out of this!” Spring yelled, already aware he’d lost the argument as the deep voice of the beast resounded through the woods and its eyes vanished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought i'd love to hear it! Any suggestions or questions also comment i'm so down for discussing this AU :D


	5. Mad Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! so sorry about how long it took me to write this! I couldn't afford Netflix for a while so I haven't been able to watch the latest season, but i'm watching it starting tomorrow! To celebrate, here's the newest installment, "Mad Love"- Enjoy!

Mist had settled low over the unknown by the time dawn came. The cooing of peacocks confused Amanda, who couldn’t see much over her brother and the long neck of the giraffe, who was singing as they made their way through the trees to the largest clearing they’d come across yet.

Magnificent steel gates, as tall as the giraffe, opened and gave way to a gorgeous mansion, sprawled across acres of gravel and well-maintained grass, though the greyness of the world in which they were in ruined the happiness which could have been brought with the sight. Instead, there was a vague threat of a haunt, and Amanda was not down for that.

Within minutes the owner of the mansion, an older man with a strange eyebrow quirk, had sat them down at a long oak table, the softness of the chairs draining the tiredness from their bones, and she was able to focus, listening politely to the man as he explained that, once he worked for the police but now he sold tea, and made a lot of money for it.

“It distracts from my problems,” he said, leaning back on his chair, feet landing in the middle of his plate of potatoes and molasses, (a common food here, so it seemed) “the deep, soul-crushing loneliness,” he muttered, drawing himself up into the chair, hugging his legs, “the more money I make the bigger my mansion gets the more lost I feel,” 

He paused to sob, making Amanda glance back and forth at Todd. Her brother didn’t seem to have noticed; he didn’t seem to react to much since last night, when he’d remembered something he’d refused to tell her. Anxiety threatened in her chest whenever she dwelled on it, but he seemed sad, as if he’d remembered everything that was good about their life before and realised they were without. She was luckily, still deep in the unknown. 

“This house is so big I sometimes don’t know where or who I am!” Zimmerfield said, then laughed manically. 

“Yes well i’m glad that your- uh Niece and Nephew are here to pay a visit,” Farah said, worried that their plan was falling through, and that her plan was more awful than she’d first thought. 

“It’s a perfect pleasure!” Zimmerfield yelled, suddenly climbing onto the table, “Come on young lady, dance with me.”

“Uh-okay.” Amanda mouthed a plea for help at Todd as she was hauled onto the table and pulled into a marvellously active swing dance. 

“Farah,” Todd said, suddenly snapping out of his trance, “Why did you say we’re his niece and nephew?”

“We need money,”

“You’re scamming him?” Todd yelped,

“We’re not exactly flat out stealing from him,” she reassured, then at his face continued, “Why not we already stole a giraffe!” she gestured to the giraffe outside, who tipped his chin up in acknowledgement. 

“No we didn’t, Fred’s a talking giraffe he can do what he wants.”

“I wanna steal.” The giraffe said, and Todd groaned. 

“You guys can steal I’ve had enough of being a bad person”

“Look Todd we need two pennies to get the ferry to Gordon’s.”

“Two- we only need two pennies?”

Before she could reply Zimmerfield stopped dancing, Amanda steadying herself as she climbed down back to her chair, “Come on everybody let’s go retire to the parlour and enjoy my excessive wealth!” 

“Well…” Todd said, “Maybe he has some loose change somewhere. It can’t hurt, right?”

They followed Zimmerfield into the parlour, a magnificent room with high ceilings and gorgeous furnishings Farah could not begin to comprehend. If stealing from this man meant bringing the siblings to Gordon and saving Lydia, she would do it, and do it in a heart beat. She just had to make sure they were on her side before she did anything risky. 

Amanda was walking arm in arm with Zimmerfield now, marvelling at the luxury of the room at his instruction. “Ooh,” she said, when they passed ornate gold-gilded crystal eggs, on a mantle piece.

“What was that?” Zimmerfield yelled, startled, suddenly scared, as if he’d seen a ghost. Amanda patted his arm. 

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s my nerves- just, just, just my nerves, my nerves are a bust these days.”

“How come?” she asked, hand on his arm still. 

His eyes shifted back and forward as he moved the candle to illuminate his own, pupils-dialated, forehead sweating face, “Yes, yes well it might be good to talk to someone, yes.” 

Todd was uncomfortable. He took Amanda’s other arm and gently pulled her away. She walked slowly backwards with her brother, though didn’t seem perturbed by the old man’s manic behaviour.

“Go on,” she said, glancing to her brother with an unreadable expression.

“Well it all started when I was exploring my labyrinthian mansion here when I stumbled across some rooms I don’t even recall building,” he laughed, “Isn’t that funny? Must’ve been the old wing- but it was lit in a sort of eerie light” the room began to darken, somehow, the chandeliers blowing out in a wind neither sibling felt.

The only light now was the candle which Zimmerfield held, his eyes dancing in the flames with frightened memory as he continued, “I pressed on and I saw the most beautiful painting of the most beautiful man I’d ever laid my eyes on and that’s when things took a rather… a rather strange turn.”

A gust of wind. A large four poster bed with no occupant. A painting of a young man he must have once known. A gun firing in the distance, like the bellowing of a bad memory repressed accidentally. 

His face was haunted as he finished the story, “There was a movement, like the wind but more human. Ever since that day I’ve been obsessed with the man in the portrait. He consumes my every thoughts, I- I’d fallen in love,” he laughed again, and the brightness the room once had came into being, “With a, with a ghost.”

His audience gasped, enraptured in the tale. 

“too big” thought Farah, staring at a massive… something (some kind of clock, she figured) the giraffe had been gesturing wildly at, shaking her head.

“I must sound mad, mustn’t I? Perhaps it’s time for you to leave.”

“No!” Amanda protested, much to Todd’s dismay, “I want to find this ghost!” 

“I do long to see him again, just once more I suppose.” Zimmerfield said, a little sad.

“So we just have to find the painting, and all will be well!” Amanda grinned, scooping him once again into a linked-arm walk, “Let’s go.” 

They walked down the corridor merrily, and Todd was about to stop them when Farah told the giraffe to “follow them, buy me some time” and he decided to stay to make sure she didn’t get herself into trouble. 

While Farah busied herself searching for money among the treasures held in Zimmerfield’s home, Todd sat down on the cool wood of the floor and wondered a little more about the unknown. If Zimmerfield and Ken and Bart lived here in seemingly good- though odd- situations, why did some inhabitants of the unknown seem so tortured? And had he and his sister always been among them?

By the time he had consoled himself that they hadn’t, Farah had completely destroyed the once-pristine and ornate room. He’d been lost in his thoughts for almost an hour, if the giant Fabergé egg shaped clock was correct. And he’d lost track of both the girls. 

“We’re supposed to be looking for loose change!” he exclaimed, grabbing a vase out of Farah’s wings, “Let’s try not to break anything-“ it slipped from his fingers and smashed on the floor. Before he could do anything about it, Farah flew over his head to a large wardrobe- what she called an armoire- excitedly announcing he hadn’t checked it. 

Todd was about to remark that he wasn’t the one doing the searching, and that he didn’t want to see what a man like Zimmerfield kept in armoires in random rooms in this incredible mansion, if he even possessed enough items to keep in them all, when footsteps approached, and Farah ordered him into the furniture with her, both fearing discovery.

These sounds were, of course, not the approach of an angry Zimmerfield, but instead made by the giraffe dropping twigs onto the ground outside. Oh well.

////

Somewhat confused, Amanda followed Zimmerfield, carrying her frog in her arms like a baby. Trying to get a sane response from the man, she followed through the curving corridors of his impressive mansion asking “Is this the portrait?” at every painting.

“No”

“is this the portrait?” she asked, pointing to yet another landscape painting on the walls.

“L-l-look why don’t I just tell you when we reach the portrait?” Zimmerfield asked, face illuminated eerily by the candle he held in outstretched hands. 

“Okay.” She grinned, repressing a giggle, “You seem stressed.”

He stopped, stooping for a moment to catch nervous breaths, “You know me well, my darling niece.” 

Amanda tried not to wince at the lie, though she was beginning to like the idea of an uncle like him.

“The truth is I’m frightened.”

“Of a ghost? Ghosts can’t hit people you know.”

“No, no,” he waved it away, “I’m not afraid of the ghost I’m afraid that I-“ his eyes widened into a thousand-mile stare, “that there might not be a ghost and I’m alone on the on the on the on the the the the BRINK of madness- Maybe the others were right, come along let’s go back to the parlour!” 

“The parlour?” Amanda exclaimed, “Don’t give up now old man!” she affectionately punched his arm, “It’s gotta be a ghost!” 

“How how how can you be so certain?” Zimmerfield asked, following Amanda along the hall.

“Because I really, really, really wanna see a ghost.” She grinned. 

////

The armoire was dark, and cramped, but warm and quite comfortable. For a glorified wardrobe. 

“Are they gone?”

“Who cares? Look for change!”

“okay, okay”

Todd began to feel around, groping at the coats hanging on the rack around them, “I don’t think these coats have pockets.”

“Well maybe there’s money sewn into the linings.”

A pause, “Do people even do that?”

“I do.” Farah said, a little defensive, becoming a lot defensive when Todd snorted,

“You have clothes? Like little bluebird clothes? Like a bird vest or something?” 

“When I was a human, fool!” she snapped, too stressed to care if he knew or not.

“You used to be human?” Todd asked, a note of sympathy in his voice as the amusement fell from his face, “Did- did I know that?” 

“For god’s sake, look for cash!” she half-yelled, panicking a little. If she told him her story- maybe he’d guess her intentions. Or worse, he’d understand her. And she wouldn’t be able to go through with it.

“The door won’t open.” He muttered, then smiled, “Guess we’ll have to spend some quality time together.” 

“HELP” 

////

“Ah, the greenhouse.” Zimmerfield grinned, throwing open the doors to a large, humid room full of plants, “Where I grow the tea.” 

He gestured wildly around the room for a few minutes, inhaled a deep, somehow sticky breath then turned to look at her, “Maybe we should stay and enjoy the tranquillity for a moment.” 

Amanda smiled, making a show of inhaling the air- which was unexpectedly strong-smelling- for his sake. Before she could call him out on his obvious stalling there was an almighty shriek and a peacock smashed through the glass of the tea-room, sending shards of glass over them, and Zimmerfield to the ground in fright. 

“It’s okay!” assured Amanda, once the shock had passed, “It’s just a peacock. Just a weird chicken, dude.” 

Zimmerfield looked up from the foetal position he now occupied, sweat dripping down his pasty-white brow, “Oh, oh yes. One of my prize winning peacocks.” 

He sighed, bringing his hands to his face and wiping away the sweat, “With all this stuff about ghosts and things I forgot to feed them and… it’s almost as if I’ve lost my mind.”

Amanda smiled, knowing full well what he meant, and helped him up, “We can find that AFTER we find the ghost.”

///

The silence in the fancy wardrobe was deafening. Farah sat opposite Todd, her wings tucked into herself, eyes downcast.

“Hey, are you still there?” Todd asked, seeing only darkness.

Her voice dripped annoyance as she replied, “Yes, Todd I’m still here.”

After a few moments of the maddening silence Todd asked the question that appeared in his mind every time he looked at his new companion, “So how did you become a bluebird?”

There was silence, then a little scattering of bird-feet, “There’s a breeze coming from here!”

“Don’t try and change the subject,” Todd said, then, knowing he’d lost, crawled towards her voice and pushed his hands against the breeze. His fingers could just make out the edges of a wooden panel, about half the size of himself, which fell away to reveal a secret entrance. 

“Oh sweet.” He said, as the small room beyond the wardrobe was revealed. They appeared to be standing in a secret compartment beyond a chimney- beyond the concrete-like foundations of the room was a solid few layers of brickwork, and a grate with three unburnt logs piled on top of one another. 

“Speaking of secret passageways, tell me your dark secrets.” He smiled, and Farah groaned, flying to land at the ledge that also served as a grate.

“How about you? What’s your dark secret?” she retorted, attempting to distract him.

“My secrets are too secret.” Came the response, and she rolled her eyes.

“Now who’s avoiding the question.”

“Both of us.”

Farah snapped, “Fine! I threw a rock at a bluebird and it cursed me and my life and now everyone I know are bluebirds or… gone.” The guilt in her voice was heavier than the anger. The frustration of it all hit Todd’s ears with a painful pang of sympathy. “Now you go.” She snapped.

The fun had long been sucked from this conversation. “Your whole family?” was all he could ask. 

“Yeah.”

“Is that why you’re going to Gordon?” he asked, gently, “To fix things?”

“Yeah.” She wasn’t looking at him now, “That was the plan.” 

“It’ll all work out.” He said, patting her head with one finger.

“All I know,” she hopped to face him again, “is that I’d do pretty much anything to make things right. To get Lydia back.”

“Alright, my turn.” Todd said, sitting down on the cold ground, “It’s weird to admit it but i… i… I have this crush on this guy!”

“and?”

“That’s all.”

“That’s all?”

“And I think about him a lot- even though I don’t really remember him- and im way better at the clarinet than the guitar and I whisper song lyrics to myself at night before I go to sleep.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Farah said, slapping her face with one wing, “That stuff’s not even weird let alone dark- those are just- well the song lyrics thing is weird- but those are just character traits.” She began to fly through the grate as Todd moved it, still not meeting her eyes. 

“So you play clarinet? What else do you do?”

“I don’t know” he said, climbing up into the room, “I guess I just- hey does this room look different to you?” 

Farah glanced around, “It’s a room we haven’t been in before, if that’s what you mean.”

“No I mean this is more…” Todd gestured to the walls, “French rococo style- not really fitting with Zimmerfield’s Georgian manor.”

“What??? Who am I talking to right now?”

Todd looked vaguely distressed, “Should I not… know that sort of stuff?” 

“I mean I doubt anyone thinks as much about it as you do”- the term Rogue Wall Enthusiasts suddenly hit Farah like a ton of bricks and she fell silent. 

“Yeah- or,” Todd said, eyes widening in revelation, “What if the ghost he was talking about was actually?” without explaining anything, Todd began to run away from her, and Farah followed only slightly reluctantly. 

///

“Now,” said Zimmerfield, leading them down the passage to a large (french rococo style, unbeknownst to Farah or himself) door, “This is the room where I first saw him.” 

“Oh its… just a bedroom.” Amanda said, leaning against the doorframe once he’d pushed it open dramatically, “A pretty sweet one, too.” 

“Just a bedroom, my dear niece?” he asked, hand on her shoulder, “No no no this is the chamber of my one true love. And here he stands, hovering above us like the blinding sun.”

He gestured to a portrait of a handsome dark-skinned man, turned ¾ towards the artist, a confident smile on his face. Amanda smiled back, then turned to look around the room, “I don’t see any ghosts though.”

“No ghosts?” Zimmerfield said, his voice echoing in the quiet, “then I am… mad.” 

Amanda was about to comfort the old man when she noticed a spilled tea pot and tray on the floor by the bedside, “Hey… what’s this suspicious mess?” 

“It looks like a struggle,” came the giraffe’s voice from outside, “A violent one.”

Anger suddenly clouded Zimmerfield’s features, “What are you implying my tall-necked friend?” 

Fred suddenly appeared at the window, looking straight at Amanda, “I’m just saying that ZIMMERFIELD IS A CRAZED LUNATIC WHO DID AWAY WITH THE MAN OF THE HOUSE AND IS NOW LIVING IN HIS MANSION”

“What?” Zimmerfield yelled, sweat dripping down his brow, “How dare you who do you think you are I know-“ he gasped, as in sudden realisation, “You’re just after my money- do you know what I did for this money, what these filthy hands have done??” 

“I’ll never steal again, I swear!” Fred began to whimper, backing away from the house.

“And what say you Niece?” Zimmerfield asked, suddenly looming over Amanda.

“I’m uhhh confused.” She said, taking a few steps back.

Before Zimmerfield could speak they were interrupted by a wailing sound outside the room, and he let out a wail of his own, making Amanda jump. As she whipped around she saw a shadow approaching the room- slowly, leisurely. When she turned around Zimmerfield was already gone, sprinting down the corridor with a yell of, “He’s here!”

“Wait up!” She yelled, following suit and grabbing the back of his jacket, “Face your fears!”

He took one look at the doorway and collapsed in her arms.

The man in the doorway let out a groan and fainted too, falling backwards out the door.

 

////

Zimmerfield awoke to his nephew and that strange little bird shaking him awake, “Are you alright, sir?” Todd said, once his eyes had opened. He glanced over at his sister, who was shaking the “ghost” awake as well.

Zimmerfield twisted around to look at the man, “What do you want from me, spirit?” he asked as quietly and calmly as he could. 

“Spirit? Nah, man you’re the ghost!” The other man half-yelled, scrambling to his feet.

“No, sir. I am flesh and blood.” Zimmerfield said, deadly serious, “Welcome to my home.”

“Your home? But sir you’re in my home!”

“I can explain,” Todd said, “You guys’ mansions are so huge that they actually connect and you didn’t even know.”

“So you mean that frightful ghost-“  
“That irritating spirit-“  
“Was just my partner all along?”

“Your partner?” Amanda asked, but she was beginning to feel like this would never fully make sense in her head regardless.

“Oh yes. Thank you for helping me my dear girl. You have sense and are kind.”

Amanda grinned over her shoulder at Todd, who rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Have a penny to start your fortune.” Zimmerfield said.

“And one from me, too. For your help.” The man named Estevez said, his arm around the other man’s shoulders. 

“Well, everybody. Now we can ride the ferry I think it’s time we head to Gordon’s.” Todd said, “Fred are you coming with us?”

“No thanks I’ve got a real home now, where I fit in the garden.” The giraffe said, “Thanks though.”

“Now go away, the lot of you,” Zimmerfield shooed them, and the golden gates to the two mansions closed as Todd, Amanda and Farah left, once again into the Unknown.

“Hey Todd. You did good, back there I mean.” Farah said as she flew above them.

“Thanks, Farah.”

“You’ve got- more going for you than I thought.”

“Huh?”

“Nothi- Amanda no!”

Todd turned around to see his sister making a wish in a fountain with their pennies.

“Amanda what the hell?”

“That old man pegged me all wrong,” she said with a grin, “I’ve got no sense at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please leave a comment they make me so happy :)

**Author's Note:**

> So, this chapter might seem confusing to those who haven't seen Over the Garden Wall- which you should 100% go watch!- but i'll be revealing the world they're in at the same speed that you understand it in that series, which is why the characters and scenery might not be 100% explained yet, please keep commenting it really helps motivate me! :D


End file.
